BIG LIST: Game of thrones
Nobody does toilets like Japan, but a few bathroom innovations do manage to come close to matching their levels of eccentric expertise.
Monday 7 May 2012, 01:02PM
Easy rider: Nothing spoils the fun of a road trip like the notorious highway rest stop. Between the festive bacterial orgy going on inside the bathrooms and the deranged sex offenders lurking in the shadows, there really is no rest to be had at these places.
Enter the Indipod. The in-car outhouse was invented to let you drive right on down the highway while urinating and defecating in the comfort of your own vehicle, the way nature intended it to be. The Indipod is little more than a tent that you just set up in the back seat with a really advanced-looking bucket inside. Where do the contents of the bucket go, I hear you ask? Why, they stay in your car for the duration of your long trip, of course.
Battle of the Sexes: Public restrooms – the epitome of sexual inequality. While women are forced to wait in long lines to use a limited number of stalls, us men are simply lining up next to each other, exposing our genitals to the world in awkward moments of sweet release.
Thus men have long held urinals over womens’ heads (more figuratively than literally, we hope). But now, at long last, women can get all of the advantages of the urinal. How, you may ask? Well, the picture ought to clear it right up, as well as demonstrating how this device would be in no way embarrassing or degrading for women to use.
DIY dunny: Sick of taking orders from the man? Forget Occupy Wall Street, it’s time to occupy, well, you know. What we’re getting at is that it’s time to make your own toilet. And not just any toilet, a $25-or-less toilet.
You can’t even take a dump in most of the Western world for less than $25, and that’s a legitimate fact according to some guy we met in a Bangla bar last weekend. Basically, the DIY toilet is little more than a box with a bucket inside and a hole in the top. You can probably guess what happens from there, but if not, there are various German educational websites dedicated to informing you of the messy aftermath.
But just in case you think it’s as easy as all that, rest assured you need some sawdust to make it a fully functional poop receptacle. So why did we ever need all that flushing and plumbing and other such nonsense when a box and some sawdust is all it takes? Try it and see.
Dog-gone: Why should humans be left alone to revel in our lavatory lavishness while our canine friends are left out in the cold? After all, their toilet has seen precisely no technological advancement since ‘the ground’ became popular several million years ago. Now, thanks to the Pet Potty, dogs never really need to go outside again.
This indoor toilet for dogs gets installed right into your plumbing, which the promotional website assures us is easy without actually explaining the process, and is such a time saver. Of course you still have to manually hose off the poop each time (which the website also shows us in gratuitously graphic detail), unless you can somehow teach your dog to do that too.
Hitting the mark: Okay, we give in – it wasn’t possible to make a list about weird toilets and not include something Japanese. And so we have the Portable Washlet, invented for those people who can’t stand how public toilets don’t send a streaming jet of water up their anus.
For those people, and perhaps also the mildly curious, the device can be filled with water, extended and jammed between their legs in the bathroom stall, squirting water around until they hit the bull’s-eye and achieve satisfaction.