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The Big List: Criminally laughable

These masterminds know how to get the job done, especially against themselves.


By The Phuket News

Friday 3 April 2015, 09:00AM


A bad batch

When 53-year-old Juanita Marie Jones wants her crack cocaine, it better be strong – real strong. Back in August 2007, the woman successfully (and criminally) purchased and ingested some crack. The problem is that it was too weak and she feared that the she had been ripped off. So, naturally, she called the police to get her money back. After officers arrive to the Rochelle, Georgia home in the United States, she explained to police the situation and was promptly arrested for possession of crack.

Big sleep

BIS Phuket

Burglary is a tiring business, and it’s easy to fall asleep on the job. This is what happened last September in Sarasota, Florida when 29-year-old Dion Davis was rudely woken up by the housekeeper of the home he was still robbing. Davis had fallen asleep in the master bedroom next to a plastic bag full of the jewelry he was set to steal. When police arrived, the man was still sleeping and then snapped a photo of the snoozing bandit before he could learn that he was caught.

Face mask

Magic markers were (unsuccessfully) used in a robbery in Carrol, Iowa back in October 2009. The would-be culprits, 23-year-old Matthew Alan McNelly and 20-year-old Joey Lee Miller, were arrested after breaking into an apartment wearing black hooded sweatshirts and “masks” that were drawn on with magic markers. A witness spotted them and called police, who stopped them in their getaway vehicle a few blocks from the site of the robbery.

 

 

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