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BIG LIST: Stupidly expensive everyday items

Friday 30 September 2011, 10:43AM

Yes, that's a Louis Vuitton skateboard, just one of many ridiculously expensive and utterly impractical everyday items.

Yes, that's a Louis Vuitton skateboard, just one of many ridiculously expensive and utterly impractical everyday items.


Posh Instant Noodles – B1,290

Yep, even instant noodles come in luxury form. For just B1,290 a cup, you can own one of 100 exclusive Pot Noodle cups. Each posh noodle comes in a hand-flocked gold leaf pot, and because you like to be civilised while you eat your instant noodles, it also comes with a fork and table linen.


Gold-plated Staples – B5,250

If you’re really rich, you know that displaying your wealth goes beyond flashy clothes and a luxury car – a true measure of wealth is in the details. After all, you can’t possibly expect anyone to fully understand just how filthy rich you really are unless even your staples are gold plated. Snap.


Monogrammed Leather Keyboard – B18,000

Plastic? How quaint. When you have the perfect manly study, complete with rich leather chairs, a full liquor cabinet, and a roaring fireplace, would you have a cheap plastic keyboard on top of your solid mahogany desk? Absolutely not. You would have a Gokukawa soft leather keyboard with monogrammed keys to compliment your lavish surroundings – a bargain at just B18,000.


World’s Most Expensive Beer – B24,000

BrewDog, an independent Scottish brewery, sells the strongest and most expensive beer in the world suitably known as The End of History. Infused with nettles and juniper berries, the blond Belgian sells for B24,000 per bottle,and is 55 per cent alcohol. That probably explains why it comes presented in a stuffed stoat or grey squirrel. Though currently sold out, you can order other eccentrically named beers such as Tactical Nuclear Penguin and Tokyo*, described as ‘intergalactic fantastic oak aged stout’.


Tiffany Tennis Ball Can – B45,000

Since you’re playing to impress, why not get a fancy can to keep your balls in? Of course, because it’s Tiffany, this particular tennis ball can is made of sterling silver and will set you back B45,000. Ace.


Luxury Bullets – B90,000

If all bullets cost this much there would be a lot less violence in the world. Or just between rich people. The Bullet Forge designed 9mm bullets are made from white gold and diamonds, while the 45 ACP hollow-point is made of white gold with 90 diamonds positioned around an amethyst.


Concrete Aalto Doorstop – B105,000

While the rest of us are using cinder blocks for doorstops, somewhere in some mansion there’s a B105,000 chunk of cement holding a door open. You may (but probably don’t) notice that this doorstop is shaped like a world famous Alvar Aalto or Savoy vase, and that’s because it was cast in an original which was then shattered to let out the mold. While the Aalto doorstop looks pretty cool, it may just be a waste of a perfectly good vase (and B105,000).


Gold and Diamond headphones – B155,000

We’ve all seen blinged out iPods, but what about headphones that cost more than your computer? These 18 carat gold earphones feature 118 high quality diamonds and despite all the extra weight are said to be just as comfortable as your cheap plastic pair. Just much, much more expensive.


Splash Beach Club

Louis Vuitton Skateboard – B250,000

If you’re a skater you probably have no interest in a Louis Vuitton skateboard. But to be fair, anyone interested in a B250,000 LV skateboard probably isn’t too interested in skateboarding either.


Crystal Ergoripado Vaccum – B570,000

Combine one average vacuum with 3730 Swarovski crystals and you have the Crystal Ergoripado, possibly the most expensive home cleaning appliance ever built – though with a price tag this high you probably won’t let the maid anywhere near it.


Diamond Computer Mouse – B800,000

With some 59 diamonds, this design by Swiss manufacturer Pat Says Now is not only being the world’s most expensive computer mouse, but also the world’s most useless computer mouse.


Diamond Encrusted Bluetooth Headset – B1.5 million

If your wife is concerned that her big ugly plastic bluetooth is overpowering her gold and diamond earrings, why not compromise with this diamond encrusted headset from Plantronics?


Moon Landing Pen – B1.5 million

One small pen for man, one giant chunk out of the bank account. The Omas Limited Edition Moon Landing Pen features a globe on the top and 3D imprints of Neil Armstrong’s footprints in the moon (or more realistically, some random guy’s because it’s not like they could cast them from the originals).


The Intimidator Pool Cue – B4.5 million

The name says it all. Probably the most bad-ass pool cue ever made features four bladed wings that you wouldn’t want to get anywhere near your felt, or anything else for that matter. Made from a solid piece of stainless steel, this deadly cue took more than 1800 hours to craft and engrave.


Gold and Diamond Sauce Pan – B4.65 million

Perfect for the housewife who’s bored with her Swarovski-studded vacuum cleaner, and already has the diamond Bluetooth headset, is this sauce pan with gold handles that’s studded with 200 diamonds.


Precious Fishing Lure – B30 million

You read right, that’s a B30 million fishing lure. Made of three pounds of gold and platinum, this MacDaddy's product is encrusted with 100 carats worth of diamonds and rubies – 4753 stones in all. However, you have to wonder who in their right mind would cast this in the drink?




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