Then came the woeful sequels, which are fun to watch if you putting together a trashy movie marathon, that starred the likes of Morris Chestnut and David Hassellhoff. They are hard to call even B-Grade perhaps C and D Grade are more like and are often found in discount DVD bins alongside other trashy classics like Sharknado.
So, I have to admit that it came as a bit of a surprise when Sony Pictures announced that they were re-booting the Anaconda franchise – not only bringing it back but had drawn A-Listers like Jack Black (School Of Rock) and Paul Rudd (Ant-Man) to the film. And even after the first trailer dropped I was still thinking – ‘hey this could have potential.’
Directed and co-written by Tom Gormican (The Unbearable Weight Of Massive Talent) the film centres around a group of four friends who during High School made short films together and dreamed of making it to Hollywood.
Things haven’t exactly panned out the way that they had hoped. Doug McCallister (Black) is making unoriginal, cheesy wedding videos for uninspiring couples while Ronald Griffin Jnr (Rudd) is getting fired from Hollywood day work for taking his art too seriously. He did once have a semi-regular role on S.W.A.T. but that is long gone.
Then there are also Claire Simons (Thandiwe Newton – Mission: Impossible II) who is not sure what to do with her life after her recent divorce and Kenny Trent (Steve Zahn – War For The Planet Of The Apes) who despite his claims to the opposite does in fact have a substance abuse problem that has left him unemployed.
When the four get back together for Doug’s birthday and reminisce over their High School cinematic masterpiece they begin dreaming of re-booting their favourite franchise – Anaconda – and that dream soon looks like a reality when Ronald announces that he has recently been able to obtain the rights to the franchise – the only problem is they have no money but what they consider a decent script.
Mixed results
It is here though that this Anaconda re-boot starts to run into trouble. Because if Gormican had left the plot at that then you could probably have had a fairly decent film with a group of filmmaker wannabes getting stalked by a giant anaconda in a South American rainforest. But instead the audience is introduced to another sub-plot that sees Ana Almeida (Daniela Melchior – Fast X) introduced into the mix. Her story simply revolves around her being on the run and happening across our four cinephiles while they set out on their journey.
From there the movie provides mixed results. The comedy, yes they have made this a comedy, comes to the fore and to its credit largely works. There is only one problem there though most people who sit down to watch an Anaconda film, me included, come to see characters menaced by and ultimately fall prey to a giant snake, they don’t come for a barrel of laughs.
Gormican’s idea of doing to Anaconda what Dwayne Johnson’s version of Baywatch did to the original TV series seems like a mis-direction. It takes all the suspense and horror aspects that made the original a fan-favourite out of the equation and to be honest if the laughs weren’t so frequent you would probably end up getting bored pretty quickly.
Then there is the lazy second half of the film. The ‘Ana storyline’ becomes predictable, and at times disjointed, while the supposed finale is a bit of a fizzer and feels like the filmmakers themselves have just tacked on 10 minutes of action to a comedy film. Even the music is uninspiring using classic rock tracks from AC/DC and Van Halen that we have heard in movies hundreds of times.
To be honest the best parts of Anaconda are the comedic performances. Black is on song here getting laughs all throughout the film. Given some of the stuff that happens to his character in the film you get the feeling that Black simply said to the creative team “do whatever you need to me to get a laugh.”
Black is also well supported by Zahn who seems like an actor on a mission in this film. Some of his lines and ‘moments’ in the film are pure comedic genius and he at times steals the limelight from his hilarious co-star.
While Anaconda is a film that will make you laugh it is best described as a forgettable film. The comedy nor the film’s guest appearances by Ice Cube and Jennifer Lopez just doesn’t do the original any kind of justice at all and the result is a film that feels like a parody rather than a tribute. So, if you haven’t seen the original and just want a laugh then the film is passable but if you are a fan of the original this one might leave you a little disappointed.
Anaconda is currently screening in Phuket and is rated ‘13’
2.5/5 Stars
David Griffiths has been working as a film journalist for over 25 years. That time has seen him work in radio, television and in print. He currently hosts a film podcast called The Popcorn Conspiracy. He is also a Rotten Tomatoes accredited reviewer and is an alternate judge for the Golden Globes Awards. You can follow him at Facebook: SubcultureEntertainmentAus.