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Mystery surrounds absence of Phuket Niner Kilbane

SOFTBALL: On an ordinary day, fourteen runs would have been enough for the Phuket Nine to trump its opposition. Last Saturday (Feb 18) was no ordinary day.

The Phuket News

Friday 24 February 2017, 11:20AM

Fijian Renato Tikoisolomone looks to hit one out of the Alan Cooke Ground. Photo: Anisa Van Der Laan
Fijian Renato Tikoisolomone looks to hit one out of the Alan Cooke Ground. Photo: Anisa Van Der Laan

The shorthanded Phuket Nine were unable to overcome the unexplained absence of regular shortstop Casey Kilbane, falling to the Thayer Slayers 19-14 in extra innings. The Phuket Nine, led by Robby “The Belgian” De Vylder, who brewed opposition frustration with his flawless glovework on the diamond, and Cameron “Eggs” Benedict, who made hitting doubles look over easy, showed remarkable courage in the face of Kilbane’s desertion. Jordan Smith’s Slayers were just too much on this day.

Asked whether he knew why Kilbane wasn’t at the game, Phuket Softball Commissioner Jared Spindel commented, “He’s from West Virginia, right? Maybe he was afraid there would be a refugee, Jew, Muslim, undocumented migrant, resident of an ‘inner city’, Nordstrom executive, journalist, SNL cast member, Frederick Douglass, woman, Swede, watersport videographer, activist, pollster, daily intelligence briefing provider, judge on the Ninth Circuit Court of Appeals, Trump University student, transgender person, ACLU lawyer, Australian Prime Minister, person who questions the lucidity of someone who accepts preposterous conspiracy theories without evidence, scientist, stiffed contractor, IRS agent, Meryl Steep, FBI investigator, community organizer, John Lewis, CIA Nazi, CEA economic forecaster, Pope, German Chancellor with an understanding of international law, Hispanic person, Ted Cruz’s assassin father, protestor, Presidential Inauguration photo curator, Bowling Green terrorist, Access Hollywood reporter, Mexican President that refuses to pay for a wall, Rosie O’Donnell, Nancy O’Dell, Robert Pattinson, defender of democracy, New York State Attorney General, fact checker, menstruating debate moderator, person who supports multilateral deals of any kind, person concerned about gun violence or the environment, Vietnam POW, Miss Teen USA contestant who locks her changing room door, housing discrimination lawyer or advocate against marital rape at the game.”

The next game is tomorrow (Feb 25) at midday at the Alan Cooke Ground. Players are encouraged to show up at 11:30am to warm up and take batting practice. Everyone is welcome to play and equipment is not needed. It’s B100 per player, all of which goes to the ACG to help maintain the field.

Unit - 27

For more information, click “like” on the Phuket Softball Facebook page and RSVP at the Event Page for this week’s game.

Text by Jared Spindel.



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